I sent my Crotchduster review to Willowtip Records a few months ago. I never heard back from them, but I did receive an Email from Jason Suecof thanking me for the review. I wrote him back eventually about interviewing him, and this took place via Email sometime in early January.

If you haven't heard Crotchduster yet, you're doing yourself a grave disservice. They play every type of music you can think of in one song and make it work. This band is simply genius and funny as fuck. Jason also owns Audiohammer Studios.

PL: Do you feel that you need an introduciton?

Crotchduster: Do you?

PL: HOw long has the studio been up for?

Crotchduster: Since 2000 here in Florida but I've been doin it professionally in CT. since 1994 and fucking around with it since 88.

PL: Was it tough to build a name for yourself in the recording industry?

Crotchduster: It is and it will always be, I think. I grew up listening to Morrisound. I think everyone my age did. jim and tom are very musical about everything they do when they record.. its really amazing. I'm babbling now. I'm sorry, I have the worst ADHD. What I'm trying to say is this: if you listen to a cd from 1995 and a cd from now the main thing that has changed is the volume... mastering has been ruined and its ridiculous!!!!! its like kids cant find their volume knobs thats all people care about anymore is how loud their shit is... people have to mix things different these days in order to get it sounding right loud.. its crazy... anyway I'm total Jim and Tom worship and I will always be grateful towards them putting up with my bullshit annoying questions. So many people get a small recording system today and call themselves producers. And then ruin it for people who have been doin it forever. There you go.

PL: Have you ever had a particularly wretched experience recording a band? Was there anything that you learned from that?

Crotchduster: I was doing this Christian rap band, and they wanted to sample their gun. I told them no. They didnt like that too much. They are actually nice guys.

Besides that, the main thing with some people is that they wanna do what they wanna do. You can only make so many suggestions before you tell them, ok thats fine, we shall do it your way.

I'm a pretty honest guy in the studio, but its hard for me to let a band do something that I think is bad, but sometimes you have to.
PL: Is it difficult to record your own band?

Crotchduster: I think when it comes to mixing; yes, because I get way more anal then anything else. I can sit there forever and fuck with my own shit. With crotchduster I didnt really care though. It wasnt meant to have good production.

PL: It sounded pretty good to me.

Crotchduster: Thank you sir.

PL: No problem. Thats actually a pretty decent segue into Crotchduster questions.

PL: How would one go about kissing one's belly button from the inside?

Crotchduster: I've wondered that myself. You would have to take that up with Mr. Slippery Jim himself. It sounds pretty dirty though huh? I pictured some sort of anal deal. Head up anal into stomach region, kissin with a smile.

PL: How did you meet Bill Williams?

Crotchduster: He was a friend of ours. A dirty man from the beginning. We use to watch beta max porns together. I cant really tell you, it might blow your mind.

PL: Are there any towns in the U.S. where the hookers won't let you do drugs off their asses while Cain licks peanut butter off their pussies?

Crotchduster: Albany.

PL: Is that a big loss?

Crotchduster: Well.. yes and no, so no.

PL: How did Cain join the band?

Crotchduster: Well, we asked him. He was like "I dont have time for this shit." I told him there was hookers a coke involved, and he was like sure. Like hes gonna do anything better.

PL: Is he glad he joined the band?

Crotchduster: Hold on, lemme ask him. He said sorta. I think hes happy.

PL: How did you discover the recipe for Mammal Sauce?

Crotchduster: I can't tell you. You know that! You think everyone doesnt ask me that!

PL: Will Mammal Sauce ever be introduced to the Earth's population?

Crotchduster: With any luck, the Earth's population will be introduced to Mammal Sauce. Mammal Sauce was here first, I think. We just didnt know it.

PL: Do you think the population will welcome Mammal Sauce with open arms?

Crotchduster: Do you? I do!

PL: I haven't tried it so I can't say.

Crotchduster: Yeah well, you say that now.

PL: Do you feel good knowing that you're doing your part of save a dying dimension?

Crotchduster: Well, I'm glad thats it me, and not Bill Murray because then he would be getting all the credit.

PL: True, though Bill Murray does do a good job of playing miserable people.

Crotchduster: Its true.

PL: Do you have a big smile on your face come tax day?

Crotchduster: I am tax day! And yes.

PL: Is Tax Day better than Christmas?

Crotchduster: Well, I am a Jew, so yes.

PL: Better than Passover?

Crotchduster: Yes.

PL: Talk about your sugar glider getting eaten and Cain humping you while you're in bed. (Rob Chase gave me that question)

Crotchduster: That fucker ate that other fucker. Cain fuckin humped me, and I figured what the fuck, I got him nutered let him go at it.

PL: How's he like being neutered?

Crotchduster: He's all good with it.

PL: Whats a little known fact about Florida.

Crotchduster: Uhhhh... me!

PL: What was your favorite childhood movie?

Crotchduster: "Ghostbusters."

PL: Name one album, besides your own, that you think all kids should have in their collection.

Crotchduster: Megadeth Rust in Peace.

PL: Is there anything you're looking forward to in 2005, besides this interview?

Crotchduster: A girlfriend.

PL: Do you have any final comments?

Crotchduster: Yeah...YEAH! Thats it. Sorry dood, I'm tired today.

PL: Its alright...I just poked myself in the eye with my mouse pad, so I'm hurting.

Crotchduster: Haha, rock!

Interview by: RF

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