PL: Introduce yourself.

EGT: I'm Josh.

PL: You're probably sick of doing these by now, huh?

EGT: Yeah, but if the questions are funny, its good.

PL: I don't know. I feel like I have a lot to live up to now. I was watching you (during his previous interview) and you looked like you were having this great time.

EGT: He was asking me about something that recently happened.

James: If you want funny things, ask him: What happened in Philadelphia at the end of the Verse tour?

EGT: Last night?

James: Two nights ago, I think.

EGT: You mean, you mean in Chareloi, Pennsylvania.

James: Yeah.

EGT: Why, you know that girl?

James: No. Sean plays drums in Verse.

EGT: Alright, you want to start it off with a story?

PL: Yeah, I guess. (I should note that I was not expecting to hear the story that came out of his mouth)

EGT: Check this shit out: We play this fucking town, if you want to call it that, outside of Pittsburgh. Its was the last night of the Bane tour and all the bands were able to hang out together. Last night was the official last night of the tour, so everyone was gonna go home afterwards. Everybody's like "let's get some hotels and hang out." So this girl comes up to us and says (in snobby girl voice) "Hey, I'm having a party at my house and all the bands should come. I have lots of beer and Kool Aid and a swimming pool. She says its gonna be awesome, and we're like "yeah, we've always down to fucking rage." We ask her where she lives, and she says that she lives an hour out of the way of Philly. We go "Thats perfect. Thats exactly where we're going." She says, "Well, my friends already left me, so can I ride with you guys?" We go sure. She gets in the van, and about 35 minutes into it, she's like "I don't know where I'm at." We're like "Where do you mean you don't fucking know where you're at? Don't you know how to get home?" She says that she doesn't know where she's at. We ask her where she lives, and she's like "Indiana, Pennsylvania." So we pull out the map, and we're like "what the fuck!-where are you taking us?" She lives an hour and a half north, and we're supposed to be going five hours east. I don't know why we weren't assholes and just left her at the gas station. We're like, "Okay, this is the plan: We're going to this girl's house, and we're going to get kicked out. If this is gonna be the end of the tour, then we're gonna set it off." (a small beef breaks out, which we all watch)

So, where was I with the story? Oh yeah. We're gonna trash the bitch's house and we're gonna get kicked out. Its the last night on tour and we want to go crazy. We show up to her house. You know what, guys, I have a before, a middle and an after picture if you really want to see.

James: I heard the whole thing was taped.

EGT: Yeah, the cops have it right now. The house was already fucking trashed. We didn't have to do much. This was the house before, when we walked in. This was the living room. And the mom comes out-I'll show you the mom-here's a picture of me picking up the mom. And here's when we left (it looked like the aftermath of a hurricane, except inside).

This is what happened, pretty much: We went there, and instantly the people that drank started pouring beer everywhere and starting peeing all over the bed.

James: I heard someone started pissing all over the mom's bed.

EGT: That was me. I peed on the cat. Long story short: we literally ripped the roof down. There was no more roof. Then, as we're leaving, someone-I'm not gonna say who it was-goes "Yo, Josh, want me to set it off?" I already thought it was set off, but I go, "Yeah, dude, set it the fuck off." There's this table with all these dishes, and he just throws it across the house. And everyone is just ripping up bean bags and singing "Jingle Bells" and shit. It was nuts. And then, we go outside, and someone picks up two big recycle bins of glass bottles, and just throws them.

The whole time, the mom was fucking laughing, which was boggling my mind. Once the bottles break, the mom was like: "(in a high screechy voice) What the fuck! The city doesn't take broken bottles. I'm calling the cops."

We fucking peace out as quick as possible. We rip out and we're like "whatever, the girl lied to us about there being a party." And then on top of that, she's on camera beating up the ceiling. About two and a half hours later, its Bane, us and Verse, and we're all driving. And then, these three cop cars pull over all three vans and tell each of the drivers to get out. We all get out, and they go, "Which one of you is in Evergreen Terrace?" I go, "That would be me." And he says that he needs to talk to me. He walks over and asks if we went to a party last night. I said "Yeah, we did go to a party." He says that there was a $4,000 camera stolen. I told him that I don't fucking steal and no one else in my band does either. I said that he was more than welcome to check our van. I open the van and I tell all the dudes: "Did anyone steal a camera? If you did, you need to fess up now." Everybody says, "No, I didn't steal a camera." Well Craig goes to get out, and you know how a fucking tour van is, with bags and CDs everywhere.

That dumb bitch had left her camera, sunglasses and her wallet in her sidekick in our van and calls it stolen. So, then all these dogs came and sniffed us for drugs.

Me and Kyle got taken to jail. We got arrested for-I got charged with theft, receiving stolen property, criminal mischeif and disorderly conduct for pulling her roof down. Kyle got charged with theft and disorderly conduct. And we were arrested and charged with all that because we were physically closest to the camera. $10,000 cash to bail us out.

PL: Each?

EGT: No, together. It was $5,000 each. So we had to fucking hand him $10,000 cash right there, after they shackled us to the floor and shit. We were in the middle of nowhere and we looked like shit. I was wearing these jeans that had holes all over them and my shirt was stretched out, and I hadn't slept for 36 hours. We looked as shitty as possible for our mugshots. So, I'm looking at 14 years in prison and $30,000 and he's looking at seven years and $7,000.

PL: Is the girl gonna drop the charges?

EGT: From what I've heard, she's been talking a bunch of shit about us on the internet. She didn't say anything about Bane or Verse.

PL: Do you have her Email or number or anything?

EGT: I think she's on Myspace, I'm sure. This is how dumb this girl is: as we were driving to her house, Craig asked if there was gonna be lots of beer there, and she said yeah. He asked if she drank, and she goes, "I'm It Dies Today/Eighteen Visions edge." I go: "What the fuck does that mean?" And she goes, "Well, I'm straight edge." We ask what It Dies Today/Eighteen Visions edge means. She goes "Well, I don't use drugs. I don't drink, I don't smoke." Craig goes, "Don't fuck." Craig's the fucking biggest drunk in the world and even he knows the fucking song. And she goes, "No, no, I just don't use drugs. I fuck all the time." We were all just like "Uhg."

It was funny as shit. The whole time, I was laughing my ass off. Me and Kyle were laughing our asses off the whole time we were in there, until the judge read us all of our shit.

Somebody?: You've got to talk to that bitch, dude.

EGT: She said she's gonna be at Hellfest. After that, I don't know if I'm gonna be in prison or not. Regardless, I will find her. I will find her out of the 5,000 people there, I will find her.

PL: It'd take balls for her to go and watch your set.

EGT: No shit. She's so dumb, that I bet she'd come up to the merch table, and be like, "I want to buy a shirt. Remember me?" Yeah, I fucking remember you.

Somebody?: All she has to do is go, "Yeah, I left it in their van.

EGT: No shit! Kyle's uncle is this famous country musician, Steve Earle. I'm not sure if you've heard of him or not. He's been through some fucking shit, so he has all these criminal lawyers. We're trying to get one of his lawyers and then we're gonna try and countersue her ass.

PL: Do you want me to type this up? Do you care?

EGT: I don't fucking care. Her name is Sheila Jackson from Indiana, Pennsylvania. Look for her on Myspace, and leave her bad, bad comments.

PL: I don't think any other question I have will be as good as that.

EGT: That'd be awesome if that was all the interview was.

James: You should end it right there.

PL: Yeah, I'll stop right there.

EGT: Okay, cool. That was awesome.